Broken book of dreams.

I awake suddenly with a start. Thinking about yesterday. That whole night... it was... blank... I remember nothing but everything.. my brain is ticking away.. Pain wracks my body as I place my palm on my window. I'm trapped in my room, in my mind. "Her friends.. won't make it to see her sixteenth birthday.." I repeated softly. "Sixteenth... birthday.." I mumbled. Sighing I looked up at my lamps that dangled with soft colors, blue-grey, purple and green. The sky was wet and weeping with a ferocity as wind knocked around trash cans and stray trash. Sighing again, I lay on my bed and close my eyes, letting the comforting plush wolf blankets surround me. Pretending that just for this moment, I was safe, normal. I listen to the breathing of the house, the random sqawks of the bird downstairs. I begin thinking of how lucky I am, how lucky I am to have my friends.. Innjeh, Rinca, Anna, Nii Nii, Jayson, Selena, Shell.. where would I be without them? Although.. I've had Jayson the longest, then Rinca, then Innjeh, anna, Selena, Nii Nii, and Shell.. Jayson, my sweet Jayson.. He's so busy and yet.. so guilty for it.. his absence tears me apart, his neglectance of my needs hurts even worse.. but those moments when I can hear his voice? See his face? Those make up for it all.. I love him, whatever love means, its what I feel for him.. I wonder though.. how much I mean to him.. Do i make his heart pound? Do I make him cry in pain whenever I'm not there? What do I mean to him.. And Rinca? What do I mean to her? Maybe she doesn't know it.. or maybe she refuses to believe it.. but.. I love her too, and if I were male, I think I'd be inlove with her.. but.. maybe I already am, or maybe I just have strong affection.. I dislike the way she treats me sometimes, and how she has those meh moments and moods.. She hurts me so much.. so very much.. she turns my world upside down, sets my heart on fire and then freezes it over.. yet.. just like with Jayson, I'll endure that pain, that sorrow and wanting, just to see her smile, hear her laugh, feel the embraces she gives me just because of sheer joy.. I'd leave her my whole world, give her everything I have.. If it makes her happy.. yet.. I don't believe she really knows how much I care for her.. I wonder who it'll hurt the worst when I'm gone.. Then theres Innjeh.. She's so sweet, so caring.. those brown eyes, long hair and freckles.. remind me of the innocence I so wish to hold forever.. her kindness, her childishness.. all make me adore her.. i'd do anything for her too.. But, even though we don't hang out much, does she still see me as a friend? Or an annoyance? Anna.. I'm starting to become stronger with her.. Her blond hair reminds me of the sand I used to dance in as a child.. that alone makes me smile.. will she miss me when I'm gone? What about Selena? I know Nii Nii will.. but.. how badly? He might forget or get over me, just like he did with someone else.. Besides, he's going back to California.. Going to the place he loves.. I sigh softly and open my eyes before screaming out in pain. Quickly I roll off the bed and grab a bottle out of a drawr popping two white pills in my mouth swallowing them dry. God I hope that helps.. I think to myself.. Or at least knock me out.. It's 6 in the morning on Saturday as I think this. Sleep.. i tell myself.. sleep.. But, I can't..
So instead, I sit up and start talking out loud. "Innjeh, Innjeh I wish you could hear me, because, I love you so much, I don't even think you know. Jay, I love you too. I'm through lying! I'm stopping this now!" I scream. "Rinca, Anna, Selena, Nii Nii, Shell!" I cry out again. "I never want any of you, to have the fate I'm cursed with!" The odd marks on my back start to burn, as my heat rises. I tell everyone I'm hyperhemogobic, but really, this heat, is a sign of my deadly illness. I'm not contagious, but I am dying. Just like everyone else. But, some of use are just dying faster than the rest of you.. I get up and walk down stairs, lay on the couch and cry myself to sleep. The last thought I have, is Rinca, Innjeh and I on our very first sleep over.. how I will miss that day..

Q^Q....TT^TT

Momo.. don't cry~ don't worry, I'll be okay.. just tell yourself its only a story. I'll still be here for a little longer. *smiles* my days here are growing shorter and more painful, but all the while they still mean the world to me, so please don't cry. Okay? I love you with all my heart :3

Momo.. don't cry~ don't worry, I'll be okay.. just tell yourself its only a story. I'll still be here for a little longer. *smiles* my days here are growing shorter and more painful, but all the while they still mean the world to me, so please don't cry. Okay? I love you with all my heart :3

Q^Q...o-ok....^^ i won't cry.

I wake up that morning. Sighing to myself. Skipping the whole Day I spent with Nii nii, I forward it to being in the car. After dropping him off. We were on our way home, when I saw something flutter in the road. A flash of dull red, rolled onto its side. Panicing, I told my mom to stop. Hopping out of the car, and being pelted by icy rain, I dropped to my knees beside the small hurt cardinal. She was rolling her head left to right and twitching, jumping and trying to fly away. But, part of her left eye was missing.. Her right leg was broken.. her wings tattered and torn somewhere. She was attacked, abused, neglected, unwanted.

the poor birdyDX

I looked at that small bird, her wing crippled, her leg useless, blind in one eye, bleeding inside. She seemed so helpless, so afraid. I thought about her, to myself. How alike we are, broken wings, tired legs, blind to this world. Both dying, so slowly.. so painfully.. and yet we are all alone, though surrounded by those we care for, we're still dreadfully alone. "It's okay.." I whispered to her softly, cradling her against my breasts, I returned to the car and stroked her wet tattered feathers. "I wish we could trade places, Zara." I said to her, as my mom had ran inside to grab a box for her. "But, either way, our lives are short.. so.. in the end we'll both die too soon." I smiled and the eye that was good, seemed to understand. She whimpered in my palm, the scared, hopeless eyes, one bloody, the other wide. "Shhh.. please calm down.." I sang to the crying bird. She thrashed a little more and I whimpered myself. "Your in pain.." I whispered, touching her leg, with which she had bitten me in return. I didn't wince, or pull away. Her bite was far too weak. Right then and there, I knew, she wasn't going to make it. I only gave a sad smile at her futile attempts to scare me off, her beak lubricated with blood, couldn't hold onto my fingertip. My mom tapped the glass of my window just as I sighed. She was holding a shoe box. The rain pelted the window and made soft yet harsh and cold little plops. I told her I'd be inside soon. "Don't worry," I said to Zara. "You'll be dry and warm.. please don't be so afraid.." But, thats useless. Just as I am, she is in an unfamiliar world, she's been on the ground too long, she cannot use her wings, and she's with someone she never will know. Just like me. Because of this, I found an intense need to stay by her side constantly. I opened the door slowly, to not scare her, and proceeded to the gay-rauge (as my mother calls it) and came in slowly. My dad met me in the kitchen, he started to raise his voice but I caught him right before he voiced his unapproval. "Dad.. she's dying.." I tried to tell him. But, he couldn't get over the fact of me bringing home an animal. "She's just going to die, Enka. You should've left her in the street." He said coldly. I hissed at him. "How could you say that dad? She's just a little bird! And, if she's going to die, at least let her pass peacefully in a warm dry place, instead of being eaten alive by cats, getting ran over by a careless driver-" I glared at him as I said 'carless driver' "or drowning in the rain. I just wanna give her the comfort I'll ne-" I cut off. The comfort I'll never have.. Huffing, I pushed past him and into the dining room where the box waited, inside was a soft plush towel, some bird seed and a cup of water. "Please be okay, rest alright Zara?" setting her down, I pulled the lid over mostly to give her dark and silence. Then, I pulled out a chair, and laid my head down by the box.
I slept all that day, until morning I awoke. "Oh shit.. Zara..?" I worridely asked, knowing I'd get no answer. Lifting the lid, there she sat, on her one leg. Opening her good eye, she cocked her head to look at me. Quizing, untrusting, testing eyes. "Oh thank goodness.. youre okay.." for now.. My phone had began to buzz in my left pants pocket. "MMmrrr.." i flipped open my phone, "Little one?" next message, "Love?" Next message, "BuEno Diaaaazzz!!!" Sighing I responded to Jayson, then Nii Nii and told taquito I'd talk to her later. I left my phone on the table, walked off to the kitchen and drowned myself in milk. Came back, checked my phone again. Nii nii will be here soon.. Racing upstairs, I was stripping off my clothes, pants on the stairs, shirt hanging on my bedroom door, bra in the hall, panties on my bathroom floor, and I fell into my shower/bath. "SHIT" I snarled as every damn bottle of soap I had (which is like seventeen, what the hell? Who needs this much soap!?) laying naked in my tub, with soap all over me, I arose irratated, and kicked everything aside. "Dammmmnit~" I cooed. Shaking my hair out, I stepped out of my tub, grabbed a towel out of the hall closet, came back in, shut and locked my door. "Who's a retard~!!!??" I shouted at myself in the mirror. I had a gash down my back leading into my left thigh. "Fucking moron v.v " i sighed and brushed away the blood, setting my towel on the toilet seat, I once again, entered the death-trap tub and stood facing the door. "Mmmrrr... v.v" I mumbled to myself, letting the hot water splash into my hair as I turned the knob and let my skin be melted off me. The heat was killing my cut, but i ignored it, absent mindedly grabbing a bottle of shampoo, which was blue, and yet, called Green forest, what the fawking hell? Dumping a good handfull down, I caressed my arms, stomach and then lower back with it, until I found the painful slit in my skin. Forcing a gob of the powerful cleanser into my wound, i bit my lip as the feeling of fire ants dancing under my skin surged up to my neck. "Aahhhh what a dumb ass~" I sang to myself, then, without a care I fell in my shower, sliding down till my ass hit the other side, everything falling down, and I fell asleep.
What the hell did you do that for? I asked myself. Why did my knees stop working? I sat up in the shower, looking around. Who turned my water off? Why is my door open? Who am I again? Blinking once or twice, i pulled myself out of the wreckage, and stood before my mirror. blood was drizzling down my neck, across my breasts and down to my feet. "Dammmmn not again~!" I whined. Grabbing my towel, I dabbed my hair dry, pulling it away from a spot, and examined a hole right above my temple. In the perfect shape of a finger nail. Growling, I just willed it to stop hurting, and turned my attention to the probelm on my thigh. Good thing it wasn't too deep, or I'm sure i'd have bled out by now, wrapping myself in gauz, I pulled on a black pair of panties and then grey jeans, walked around half naked until I found my room. "Little one?" The male voice startled me. Nii Nii was standing right outside my door. I started to panic, due to the fact he could or might be seeing my dripping wet flesh, though because my back was too the door, i couldn't tell. Dropping down I ripped a blanket off my bed and found a bra (prob. a week old, ew.) and pulled it on fast. "Yeeessssss nii Nii?" I howled. Sitting up, clutching the blanket across my breasts, my eyes met Zayas, (Nii Nii) His face remained normal, calm. Which, kind of irratated me, and yet made me feel better. I mean, am i really that plain? No one ever blushes when they see me, why? On the other hand, if he's not freaking out, maybe he's just having decent manners? or maybe he's staring.. >> "WHAT D:<" I snarled, throwing a pillow at him. "Get out GET OUT DX JESUS EFFIN CHRIST!" I cried, while the monster pillow attempted to eat his face, I leapt up and kicked my door close. o////o .. >/////> .. jerk.. Panting, and blushing, i went to my closet, looking for shirts. Why would he just stand there what.. the.. fawk.. Shaking the thoughts from my head, a blue shirt caught my palm. "Perfect." I said oh so sarcastically. Pulling it over my wet shag-dog head, I walked out into the hallway, where Mr. perv sat looking innocent. When he looked up, and caught my glare, he raised his hands, "what?" he said playing childlike. "You know damn well what.." I cocked my hip hand hanging beside it. "Never just stande there! Close my door please?" I asked, and turned away laughing as I fell down the stairs o.o ???
Nii Nii and I basically stayed at the house, watched "Alpha and Omega" (dumbest movie ever made v.v the wolves looked like chicken-bears. Except one that reminded me of Axel from kingdom hearts xD) Hauuu.. but nothing we did could destract me from missing Jayson. He'd been gone a lot lately, i got maybe one text in the morning, and then never heard from him till the next morning. Thinking about this, I didnt notice my face scrunching up and- i say i alot >> this pisses me off.. Zaya looked at me, and touched my shoulder. "Y'okay?" he asked. Shaking away Jayson, although not entirely, I gave my best fake smile and nodded. "Yeah totally~" but really, I wanted to cry. Lack of time with him has left me weary, and tired.. he's always gone but.. I never tell him how sad it makes me, partly because I'm sure it'll hurt his feelings and i'm sure he already feels bad enough for being gone all the time.. If you don't know why he's been gone, its because of play rehearsal.. and to be honest, sometimes I wish I had told him how much it bothers me BEFORE he signed up. However.. I don't want to be controlling, and he has a life too right? O.o which makes me think, whats my life? Sitting at a computer, falling all over my house, I practically life to die. o.o what? I live at a house, and then, I live in a hospital. I don't have a job, i don't drive, I have no "party" life, or even a *cringe* "sex" life either >x> I think I'm going crazy. All while I think this, Zaya is tapping my nose. "Dude, seriously. You alright?" he asked again. I flinched and sighed softly. I hate it when he touches me so gently, or whenever he stares at me.. The feelings he gives off, hurt so much.. He's sweet, kind, attentive, everything about him screams "WINNER WINNER CHICKING FUCKING DINNER DX" but.. yet.. Ugh.. I'm confused between him and Jayson, i love Jayson, but he's always gone, n-not that I'm complaining, but.. Zaya is always around, and as tempting as it can be to curl up in those arms, i cant. I'm loyal, and blah blah blah... v.v basically, i dislike him touching me, or staring at me, because it reminds me of what I dont have. I don't have someone I can kiss, or touch, or hold hands with, I don't have someone who's right beside me every day, who's there to listen to me. I don't have that boy, who i long to see, and it kills me, every damn time Zaya does something. Because, in order to stop him, from doing something that would.. well.. "screw" things over, I have to reject him, harshly. And, it hurts to see him be hurt. Its really painful and quiet honestly, I'm about to say "fawk love." between males anyways~... Does this make me a lesbian? O.o

Skipping most of this day, to avoid making people squirm at my latest hidden injury, I will fast forward to after dropping Zaya off. Sitting up by my mom, she mentioned the bird. "Poor thing.." turning out onto the mainroad. "Well.. not for long.." I murmured. Right then, I heard a voice, "help me.. please..?" it was pleading. This little flame of blue burst into my mind, red feathers danced around it. The flame was growing smaller, and orange letters that looked like mist formed the words again, "help me.. please..?" "Mom, we gotta go home.." I practically started crying, for what reason? The birds dying. I know it.
Arriving home, I didn't even wait for the gay-rauge door to open, instead I hopped my fence, ran around, grabbed the hidden key, and pryed the door open, falling into the house. Scrambling to get back up, I rushed into the dining room where the box was now still. "No.." I whimpered. Picking up the lid slowly, the bird was on her side, completely still. Gently lifting her into my palm, the heat was vanishing from her body. But, one eye looked up at me, and for two seconds, it asked why, before her lungs collapsed, and she was truly dead.

Q^Q..TT^TT thats so sad....

you need to respond on my other story D:<

ok^^

I sighed softly. Closing my eyes I shut the open one and whispered a few words in Krylic, a language I invented. And dug a small grave for her. Burrying her, I shed not a tear as I thought how good she must feel now, with her true wings back. She could finally fly to the sky.

i really would love to fly^^

My house is an alien house now, the walls are not marked with years of memories. The colors all dull boring browns. Our carpet, not marred or riddled with years of feet and paws running across it, so much of our furniture gone, this house, is just a house now. This is not my home.. I think this as I lay on Rincas sofa, tears almost stinging. Recently, Rinca had stayed with me at my house during its transformation. Helped me not think so sadly of my leaving. Then, she went to Annas that weekend, while I stayed with Mrs. Chell and went four-wheeling. Ahh.. the feel of being on one, driving it, gunning it. I was flying on wheels, speeding and flying.. Sometimes, I wonder if being bound to earth is all that bad, but deep inside, I know I'd rather be in the sky..

"spread your wings Mia.." The voice echos throughout the little girls head, big blue eyes open as her wings unfold, onfire. She stands in the middle of a wheat field, swaying gold. The clear blue sky is streaked wth clear clouds, as a wind picks up, splaying them, she looks up to the sky. Black dress fluttering, black hair shining golden brown in the sunlight, Mia closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, "Riake, Innjeh.." she murmurs, once again, her world begins to shake, and pillars of thorns, massive and thick, a dark shade of green, erupt from the ground and plunge into the sky. Her whole world starts to turn upside down as the wings on her back continue to burn up, slowly, she begins to fall to the sky, wings falling away behind her as ashes, her humanity spreading through her body as she plunges into the ocean that once was the sky.

"Hey.. Get up.." Enka opened her eyes slowly, confused, but notheless, they sharpened instantly. "Huh?" She re-adjusted her gaze, then instantly snapped into focus, flipping to a crouch stance, she hissed and snarled. A grin spread across the face of the dog before her. "What.." she hissed again. "Oh little girl, your wings are gone.. hehe.." the dog just began to laugh. Its white fur was sharp, cold, gold eyes hollow, full of hatred. Sharpening its features, it showed itself to be a wolf, with a wet muzzle dripping crimson. Feathers lay torn, burnt and bloodied at the wolfs paws. "You're now bound to this world." It said, in an eerie voice. "Damned you are to roam this world, without your precious wings." Snapping its menacing jaws, the wolf then lunged at Enka, burying its fangs deeply into shoulder, dragging claws down her back forming scars in mirror cresents, when it lept away as Enka howled in pain, ribbons of blood followed. "To remind you that you will never have them back, I give you a permenant reminder of what you once had, and will never have again." With a whip of its tail, it turned and stalked off into the inky darkness, leaving Enka bleeding, shocked and still on the cold floor in the middle of nothing.

ow that sounds like it would hurt really bad >.<"...e.o

"I hate you.." the female hissed, her dark eyes burned holes into my soul. My breath ragged, she slapped me across the face, hard, sharp. "But, Iska..?" I gasped, my nickname for her came out as a cursed melody. Enraged, I felt her hit me again. Rage was slowly bulding up into my soul. "Don't hit me, Iska.." I purred that last word, and sure enough I heard the whistle of air as she went to strike me again. I could only imagine the fear and shock that spread through her as I grabbed her wrist hard and tight. Looking up her, my eyes were streaked with blood, my hair matted with the crimson stuff. Dark brown murderous eyes lined with hatred stared into her dark ones. "I said, dont hit me.." and with a snarl I jerked her down close. My cousins eyes were full of fear, they were wide and frantic. Tightening my grip on her wrist, my lips by her ear, I whispered, "Don't you dare associate me with a dirty little thing like you.." and then sneered. "You're under me, Dianah. Don't you take your age and think you have higher authority than I.." and with a shove, I pushed her away, standing as I spat blood. Looking confused at me, Dianah stood and screamed at me. Rushing at me to hit me again, I dropped to my knees and jutted my left leg out, knocking her on her ass and spun on my back, kangaroo kicking her till she rolled over in a crying mess. How dare she treat me that way.. We were walking when she brought up the topic of her boyfriend, and how she had sex with him. I told her, that I couldn't have sex with anyone so soon. She took that as an insult and slapped me. Defending myself, I blocked her second strike and ran to go to my mother. I didn't want to hurt my cousin, but she thought she sensed weakness and fear in me. Thinking I would cowwer at her, She came after me, with strength and an evil sneer. I tried to tell her that I didn't mean to offend her, nor upset her, but when i turned around, she hit me hard across the face. "Stupid, you don't know what your missing.." she hissed. "Your too good, such a goodie goodie two shoes. You're the teachers pet aren't you.." She glared at me. "But, your just a child, so of course you wouldn't know what it feels like.." she smirked and stared down at me, then kicked my ribs hard, sending me into a curl. "Your just a stupid little girl. I'm a big girl, I've been in the arms and beds of so many, and it feels good.." laughing, she fluffed her trampy skirt and pulled at her tank top. "Bet you couldn't get a guy to kiss you, no wonder your so 'innocent.' your ugly as hell and flat as a bored. Pfft, your thighs are like hippos and your stomach weighs a ton. Your ugly, Enka." I whimpered as if to cry, when really I didn't want to hear her at all. "Shut up.." I whispered. Wrinkling her face up in a crude sneer, she leaned down, grabbing me by my long dirty blond hair and jerked me up, "Don't talk to me like that!" She snarled. Slapping me, she let me fall and I sat there looking down. I didn't understand. I was only 12. She was only 13. "Well, just because your a lay-around, bed-housed, child doesn't make me stupid or ugly!" I cried out. She hissed and slapped me again, this time my sharp teeth cut into my cheek. My rage was bottling up, I didn't want to hurt her, but I hated being hit. Standing, i glared at her. "Just cause guys sleep with you doesn't make you special! Youre just being used Dianah! Daniel doesn't love you! He loves whats in your panties, or, your thong that your too young for!" Stamping my foot, my eyes glared. She hit me again, her ring cutting my temple and blood began to stain my face. "I hate you.." she glared at me again, hissing this.

"Enka?" I awoke from a daze of a horrible memory.. To see Innjehs face staring into my eyes. "Huh..?" I questioned.

Spring Break. A time of relaxing, chilling, tanning, swimming, meeting, dating, loving, freedom. For most teenagers anyways. However, this spring break, I'm taking my dear friends Zaya, and Rinca with me to South Carolina. We're going to stay at a hotel with a pool and possibly meet my love again, Jayson. I'm confused though.. mother said its not good to be with him.. I'm living in a box.. Sighing as I think this in the car, I click through my MP3 and land on "Dear you". Humming the tune, my hair came down from the loose bun my mom put it in that morning. Wondering how spring break will go, I open my eyes to find Zaya staring at me. His brown eyes searching mine. Quickly, my guard draws back up instantly and while sitting up, my shirt was caught on the chair. Being yanked back down, I sighed and looked away from Zaya.

I wish i could go with you but i can't u.u

I know.. I wish you could come with.. but we'll be together at Hannahs :3

and, of course I'll write about what happened in SC

Awsome!~X3 and i got a new swim suit~^^

My heart is breaking.. broken.. My visit to SC, sucked.. I was excited, I waited so long, to see my dearest Jayson again, my heart pounded everyday, stronger and stronger, and my love for him was swelling and starting to explode through my mouth and eyes. My happiness is what had kept me going for a while, the simple thought of seeing him, kept me happy, alive. I gave up two years of my life, to love him, two years of my life, to maintain my innocence.. to dedicate and tribute all of my attention to him, for him, because of him... And, I've given up thousands of chances to be with plenty of others, to be with someone real, for him. I waited through the week, to go see him that Thursay. The drive up, was bareable because I was nervous anyways, the first few hours there, was odd, I couldn't be me, I was too shy.. He lived in a trailer,surrounded by beautiful woods, a pond and several other trailers they owned. A really long driveway, a beautiful screened in porch, with a sweet happy family. It was that day, I had finally gotten my first kiss. In his room, we had been talking for a bit, and.. it just happened. He leaned over too far and fell on my shoulder, we both blushed. I tilted my head to ask if he was okay, and.. we kissed. I thought my heart was going to explode, two years of lonliness, was worth it to me. Those two years, were worth his arms being around me, his lips on mine, his eyes staring into mine. That was all it took to make me happy for a very long time, or so I thought it would be.. We tenderly held hands, and leaned into one another, nuzzling and such.. when I whispered to him softly, "I'm so happy.." and Jayson nodded, saying he was too. Then, softly, with a gently kiss he said, "I love you," and my body jerked. Squeezing him tightly, I almost started crying and said back, "I love you too, Jayson, and I never want to have to go." but, he continued to hold me and whisper soft sweet things to me, I was so happy I thought I'd die. So happy, that I could ignore that seeping blue, the pains that made me want to scream, my body was at rest with him. Time finally came where I had to leave, but, before that, I was telling him, "I'm so glad, that I have finally found you, finally met you.." and a swelling pain started to build in the gums above my four canines, and i winced at it. A voice in the back of my mind started to growl, a feral need, an intense want. I quickly pinned him and went for his neck, nipping, licking and biting. He reacted just the way I wanted him to, holding me tighter, gasping my name, whimpering and never ceasing to stroke my hair. I could feel his want, his desire, but he never tried to feed it, so instead, i did. Holding him tight to me, I whimpered, feeling horribel for having done something so animalistic, because my teeth nipped at his ears without me thinking and I growled softly. I left his house, with his scent and taste still fresh on my body, I went to sleep, happy.

BUt, my happiness was short lived.. my mother, told me, to end it. I had to break up with him, leave him, forget him. I'm living in a box, she says, I'm wasting my life, she says. Who cares? MY lifes ending soon anyways, MY life is too damn short, so who cares how I 'live' the rest of MY life? My body is wracked with more pain each day.. Each day lived, is another day lost. Each breath you take, kills you a little more inside. How fair is it for her to take away my only joy left in this world? Rinca doesn't believe in love, her pesimistic outlook kills me, Zayas constant attacks on me are wearing down my heart, his wants and confessions of love hurt.. Selen is happy with her Stallion, Innjeh has the family I always wanted, and Anna is so.. happy.. I'm sure they all have their depressions too, their sadness and their low points, everyones life has some bad points. But, when I'm gone, I hope they all live happilly, appreciate the life they'll have, and maybe learn to accept things.. hopefully..

TT^TT your a part of my family if it helps your like a sister to me ^^