Broken book of dreams.

I feel alone again.
You're just as worthless, as they are..
I feel alone again..
Just as you should.. you deserve it..
I feel alone again...
And you always will be.. when weren't you alone...?

Please stop it..
stop what? You know I'm right, don't you..
Stop it! Stop it, now! Please.. You're hurting me..
Good, you deserve this pain..
I.. I want to live, please.. Let me live.. I must live and laugh, love!
You deserve to die.. Die the same way you were born.. alone.
I'm not alone... I was wrong.. They may not be with me.. but.. I'm not alone..
yes, you are..
I'll always have.. my friends.. right?

I'll never be alone..
never again..
To darkness do this I condone..
Good by to blue of an inky pen..

You've ruined and ran rampid
Inside my head
I shall live without you now,
Till the day I am dead.

Never more shall your smoke hinder me,
Because I can see clear than ever,
And without you now, I'll live to be free!
I'll never look back to you, never!

The pain I've had for so many years,
The blood that'd been shed and glistened..
The words I had said into uncaring ears,
Never till now, has anyone listened!

I'm dying! Can you not tell!?
How must I show you? Can you not Spell!?
I've been lying, all this time.. Living through hell..
But I wouldn't allow it, couldn't give my soul up to sell..

How cruel I must've been.. To all of those who I'd mistaken..
Its been my fault all along, I should've given them a better chance..
I was just scared of the pain, the chance I'd be broken..
But I've always been broke, And I never could dance..

The summer I spent, the one that was worth it?
I wouldn't trade it for my life, or take those fun days granted..
I know what memories are worth, and how hard happiness is to achieve..
But even though I'm dying, I can smile if I just learn to believe!

If I believe that there is a god, and that he has a reason..
I'll listen to him, go the best I can, and never commit him treason..
If I believe that I can dance and sing, and that I won't be alone..
Then I know those hard years, were not all just for show..

I'm dying, okay? Plain and simple.
My illness has no name..
Death is indiscriminate, but also very fickle..
Love and happiness, hate and pain, are part of a great thing called life.
A wonderful.. horrible.. game..

And must I say to you, that some are great at games,
Others not so much,
And though I can master the Xbox, and even the Wii
The game of life.. Luck I have not for it, such.

So to those of you living, those with a good heart,
I want you to smile and laugh, to sing with all your might,
Never will you break or ever fall apart, and if you do, you'll just restart.
So on my grave, please don't cry..
Just look at the moon, in the middle of the night.

I will be there. Always by your side.
I might've been funny, and maybe sometimes smart,
Death comes swift and mixed with cyanide,
My happy little self, will always be right there.. in your heart.

And I want you to know this
Every word I've said is true
I hope you remember every kiss,
And know how much, I loved you..


Yes, this is written entirely by me. Kendra. Me. Kio. Me. Lunar...
Love you guys..

Luna!!~~*glomps you and holds you tight* thats right you'll never be alone again. not while i'm still alive~^^ i love you Luna~~:3

I love you too Momo :3

I'm scared..
It's coming..
I'm going to..
Can't you see it..?
It's.. It's going to..
No..
NO!!

O.O What!?! what's going to happen!?!O.O

Did you not read my poem...?

oh sorry i posted that last comment after i got stung so i wasn't thinking^^"

Are you okay though...?

Why must you ask me, "Is it true?"
Maybe I want you to know..
Isn't it enough that I already love you..?
Why wont you let it go?

The truth is I am dying.
But if you ask me strait to my face,
I'll tell you "No." But I am lying.
With a fake smile to match that pace.

I want you to know,
I want it to be accepted,
So just let it go,
Don't try to intercept it.

I want it to get better,
Look, my life is ending.
So as you read this letter,
My death token is sending.

I'm a decieving little girl.
And on the day I'm dead,
You might wanna hurl,
From all the things I've said.

I'm no special thing,
Just a simple kid.
I'm only a human being,
One happy to have lived.

I see my end coming,
Like the twisted hands on a clock
The blade of the guillotine running
Out of time till my heads is chopped.

I cannot change my fate,
I cannot change my past,
I am stuck only to wait,
As my life ends so fast.

It will happen soon,
Not in a number of days,
But perhaps one mid afternoon,
While I'm just soaking up rays.

Of course I could be lying,
and saying this all for fun.
But, maybe i really am dying,
and I'm going for the run.

And until my life is done,
And I've let it run its course,
Only then shall I have fun,
I don't want any remorse..

Please remember me,
in all that you do.
I don't want to dissapear from your memory,
But, I love you..

Again. Written entirely by me. Lunar Wolf

yeah i'm fine it's still swollen and it's starting ot itch but i'm ok!^^

Mew..

^^*hugs Luna*

Don't scratch it..

it's all better now~^^

Good, I'm glad.

I've got a few days left here, in this.. dump.

It's not really a dump.. its a.. a place full of memories. Nostalgia is killing me, and tomorrow, well today, I am going to see everyone for one last time. I will kiss each of them, and hold them closely. Though I had and was not able to make such strong connections with all of them, I had burnt them into my soul. And not a single one will I forget. I'm excited though, because Rinca will be here tomorrow early, !!! YAY !!! and I hope to see the rest of them soon... < . . >

i'm bringing Aya~X3 both of us are coming together^^

nyah haha~ i accept!!>X3

It's not easy being human,
Nor is it hard to just die.
But it is easier to live,
Then just wave to them good bye.

I do not
want to go
not
want

to

go..



Everything hurts.. blood keeps coming up... my brown eyes changing colors as my illness festers inside me.. Rinca is here, she's been neglected the information that I have. The news that my body is slowly rotting away. Inside out. My new ''home'' is so odd to me, and it doesn't help my amnesia..

Ever since I fell out of that tree, I dont know who I am when I wake up.. and those memories of the past.. horrid.

My body is breaking, and not a damned one of you care! I tried telling you!!! Without being blunt, without making you feel bad, I TRIED to tell you, that I WILL BE DEAD!!!!
No one listens to me.. No one does... Ana, Innjeh, Rinca, Selena, Simi, Shells, Nii Nii, Jayson... all of you.. I tried to tell you, that I am dying... This morning when I awoke, all I had was the taste of blood in my mouth. A dream lingering in my memories, a touch away from behind my eye lids.

Mia, Riake, Jayson and Anata, all went together on a ''trip'' to an amusement park... They had a great time, Mia was in Jaysons arms, Riake and Anata were holding hands, and the quadro rode every ride they could. Mia was so happy, as she took the warm somewhat-rough male hand of her love, she squeezed it gently, looking at him she blushed and felt the heat swirl in her cheeks. Her hair was being spun in the wind and her eyes were alive with joy. Her black T-shirt and her white shorts, being teased aswell by the airs' carress. Fingers intertwined with his, she ran with him this way and that...
-He had such strong arms, his hands so large, such gentle care... His greenish grey eyes, were aglow with love and his face was painted with a smile. Hair somewhat long and wavey, shimmered in the sunlight, his long legs kept up with her strides. He was so handsome to her, in a geeky way. She could've felt no happier. The day was spent in that park, riding rides, eating snacks, trying out new games... But eventually, the day had to come to an end. As Mia and the others parted, she felt a heavy drag of saddness... She wanted Jayson to come home with her.. She was his ride, but still..
-Getting into her sleek black poniac, she slid into the white leather seats. She popped the key in the ignition and felt her heart flutter when Jaysons hand landed on hers. "Would you mind if I came over?" he asked. Mia felt so childish, but she needed to grow up she was after all 21. Nodding, she let out a shy giggle, but Jayson knew that beneath that was a fire sprite with fangs and a tail. Mia was shy when approached but if you caught her at the right tme, she was perfect. On the way home, Mia was getting happier and happier. She parked the car, and hopped out, jamming the keys into her pocket. She was so excited as she grabbed Jaysons hand and they went inside.
-they cozied up on the couch, just holding eachother, nuzzling and snuggling. Mia was so happy to be with him, she could just kiss him!
.. And she did,
Well almost,
but that was when,

"Get up, Get up, time to Showwa.." woke me up.

i miss you Luna!!!DX sssssoooooooooo much!!!! u.u

I know that they say it, I can hear their voices. But, just because they say it, do they really mean it?
If you were close to me, then why would you leave me at my own party? Why would you just up and vanish from my world? Why do you treat me like shit just because you say you "love" me?
You don't miss me, and I won't miss you. You hurt me all the time, and I've tried my best to befriend you. But youre so fucking bi-polar, so untrusting. YOU are the reason I hide my choking moments, why I dont show pain. Because of you, Rin. And now, sometimes, you make me want to give in. Give into my illness and let the blue demon devour me. I want to grab a razor, and paint roses on your skin with it. I WANT to see you trickle crimson, to see you cry. But you wont, because you don't care, and when I'm dead, I'm not wasting 5grand on my parents behalf to throw a fancy funeral. Not when it will only be them.

TT^TT thats so sad......

My world is full of pain right now.. So much pain I'm feeling numb. But, for every mushroom-cloud, there must be a silver lining right? I'm trying to find it, but all I get is radiation that makes my heart explode and my tears to turn red. I lay on my couch, 14 stairs up, in a room all alone. My room has 15 corners. with 11 walls. Each of them, is blank. Each of them, laughs at me. It's all a washed out white, just as my carpet. There is no color in here, my white pine bed blends right in.. my dark fan just hangs there, the naked walls cry out in their nudity. This world is wrong to me, where is the life? The color? ..I got a call today, my grandfather died. Cancer. Recan is that illness spelt backwards, if you add an O to the end, it'd be Recano, do you know what that means? It means Bear. My grandfather, was a bear of a man in his youthful days. He was a great man, navey boy to the bone. He got married once, lost his wife to a horrid accident, married again to fall out of love, and settled down once more with his final wife Berba. He beat cancer once, and the damn thing came back, biting him in the ass. Literally. Colon cancer. He passed away, and 2am this morning, right after kissing his wife, and saying, "I'll always love you, dear." .. .. .. How would my ''friends'' feel if that happened to them? What if that were me? Would anyone care? Would anyone cry like my Grandma did? Would Jayson hold my shell of a body and not let go for a little while? Would anyone besides my parents and love, care?
Seeing how they know I'm dying, but are being too.. afraid to accept it and choose to ignore it, I guess not. I guess that since they don't wanna listen to me, that they don't love me. I truly am alone in this world aren't i.

If that's not bad enough, that girl who hurt me, she's come back to take something away from me again.. Why is she doing this to me? Last night, I had a dream, a voice said one thing to me, again and again " Sono condannati a morire" what that means, I have no idea but then right after before I woke up, I saw myself before a mirror dripping in blood a dark figure behind me, a knife through my chest and my eyes looking to the left. hehe...