Broken book of dreams.

I had no more laid Jayson down, before I started crying again. I was dead to the world now. I did not care, I did not care, I did not care... I stroked his cheek when Mia touched my arm. "Innjehs.. here.." she said softly. Innjeh looked at me, her eyes sad. "I'm sorry.." she said. "But, I can help.. You gotta set us free.."
"Find our bodies, and give us back our 'key items' and we can leave.." She said. At this point, I did not care. My mother was dead, a best friend gone, a lover erased.. I shed no tears as I walked up the stairs, regaining my personality step by step, and turned right. Facing into the Masters bedroom. There was a bed, inside it were two bodies. Two dead bodies. "Mother.. Niki.." I said softly. Walking toward it, Rinca right behind me, I was evasive of the underside. I knew something was there. So, I fell to my hands and knees, looking beneath it, there was another smaller body. But, two ghosts angry, were around it. "Shell.." I murmured. Standing again, I reached forward, and touched the corner of the bed. A black arm swiped at my leg and I jumped back gasping. A feral snarl escaped as the face of Ana shown, beside her was Shell. They would not cease to swipe if I drew too close. Rinca grabbed my shoulder, leaned in and whispered, "If you distract them~ I'll go find the items~!" and she ran off like an idiot, leaving me with the two demons. Whimpering, I hopped onto the bed, and it was a dumb move. It was not sturdy nor really a bed, and the whole thing collapsed, no doubt crushing the body beneath it. Grabbing my mother, and Niks body by the collars of their shirt, I heaved them and jumped off the bed, pulling them with me down the stairs, not liking how they bumbed each step. I finally laid them down by Jayson, Ana and Innjeh, closed their eyes and shed another tear. Rinca was soon beside me, holding a handful of things. "I Got the items :3" she said all cheery like. I smiled and yet didnt.
I found Shells body in the living room with the rest of us, she had fallen through the ceiling. I dragged her over with the rest of them, Rinca and Innjehs ghost beside me.
"Now, just put our items back on.." she said softly. I went to kneel by Innjehs body, taking the blue ribbon from Rinca, I tied it around Innjehs wrist, pushing it up slightly. Innjehs ghost sighed and I saw her start to fade, when I ripped the ribbon off. She hadn't fully passed on so she came right back.
"What!? The!? Heck!?" she screamed at me.
"i'm sorry.." I said, "I..I didn't want you to go, not yet.. I'll need your help.." I said softly. She nodded and crossed her arms.
"yeah yeah, just put my ribbon back on please.. if you hear a bell chime and a ding, the soul will stay. If there is a scream, the soul is hell and housebound, if its just a bell, then they'll go away to heaven." Innjeh said soflty.
Innjehs blue ribbon was put back on her wrist.
There was a soft chime, followed by a ding. I sighed.
Shells black cross necklace was put back on. There was a scream. I frowned.
Anas keychain was put back on her jeans. There was a scream. I whimpered.
Niks Camera was put back in her hand. There was a scream. I teared up.
My moms ring was put back on her finger. There was a bell chime, ...no ding.
I cried.
I was at Jaysons last, I carefully placed his dagger onto his shirt, slowly.
no sound.
I was about to scream when there was a chime and two dings.
Both my mother, and Jayson appeared before me. My mother said she needed to go, to see my father and tell him that she loved him, and to tell him goodbye. She said she'd be back, maybe. I didn't know. She vanished.
-Jayson looked at me and smiled. I threw my arms around him again and whined softly. "Mia.. we have to burn the bodies.. the bad ones and scatter the ashes in a creek. If you bury your mother, me and Jayson, we'll take care of the rest." both Jayson and Innjeh said softly. Rinca stood beside them. Somehow she found her ring so it was all okay. After I had burried the bodies, my head started hurting again. I ignored it and went back inside. Rinca took my hand, and we, followed by the ghosts, walked out. Standing infront of the house, Rinca and I watched as each one showed up. My mom, Innjeh, Jayson, Shell, Nik and Ana. All of them. My eyes got watery. All of them looked at me one way, then at Rinca with saddness. "We'll miss you.." They said to Rinca and I, I held her hand. She looked at me and smiled sadly. "If we could, we'd stay, you know that right Rinca..?" Innjeh said. soflty. One by one, each of them came up, hugged Rinca and I, and then stepped back. My mom kissed me on the forehead, smiled and told me to be good. I was crying. Almost everyone I loved, was dead and about to be gone. I thought that, if it weren't for Rinca being alive, I'd have killed myself. I couldn't be that alone.. I'd die..
-Thats when it got weird. They all started to look at me expectantly, I looked back at Rinca to find she was staring too. Her eyes were wide and watery as she whispered. "you're not staying with me, are you.." she said.
-"what? of course I am! I'm staying right here, with you.." I said.
-She reached up, and put her hand on my chest. It felt a little weird, and she started crying, her eyes so sad.. "I dont.. I don't understand.." I said softly. She began to sob silently and I felt so confused. "Rinca, I dont.. I'm okay, see? I'm right here.." As i went to place my hand over hers, I realized i didn't really feel her touch... and as my hand touched hers, I also noticed.. oh god.. My head started hurting as I saw everything happen... That body, beneath the bed.. was mine.. the two in the bed.. were Niks and my Moms.. and Shells.. was dragged in from... outside.. Wait.. this.. this doesn't make..
- Mia tried to carry her mother and friend up the stairs, but tripped. She could carry up to 256lbs max, but when she tried to carry her mother and Nik, it was 261lbs. She was over working herself as it was, and when she fell... their bodies crushed her. Hurt, she managed to pull them back up. Staggering into the Masters room, she put their bodies on a bed, and crawled beneath it. Where she died. Her soul, suffering from amnesia, believed it was alive, therefore, it was. Mia had went outside, and lay in the forest until Rinca had found her, with a massive mark on the back of her head. Cause of death. No one knew Mia was dead, not even Mia herself. Not until just now.
-My eyes widened, as I looked over, Jayson was holding my necklace in his hand, I touched my neck, no necklace. I began to tear up.. "Rinca I.. I.. I'm so sorry!" I cried soflty and wrapped my arms around her. Because I was so strong willed, I could keep a solid form.. I remember it now.. Nik had opened the door behind me, trying to help me get in, but it hit my head and.. knocked me out. When I awoke, I remembered what happened, but, was in sharp denial.. I took their bodies, up the stairs and laid them to rest.. I died beneath the bed.. which is why.. i didn't remember getting up or getting to Rincas home..
-I left Rincas side, reluctantly.. Standing by Jaysons, he put my neklace on and held me. "G..goodbye.. Rinca.." I murmured softly.. Then, everything started to fade out. I could remember seeing her, cry as she watched us vanish... then head through the woods after retrieving my necklace.. get into the car, drive home. alone. She cried the whole way. Sluggishly she pulled herself out of the car, walked in. Her mother yelled at her, and I felt so sad. Rinca only shoved the necklace at her mother, and began explaining.
-They fell into heavy tears as the story kept going. And, her mother appologized, held her daughter and watched her sulk off into her room, where she curled up on the bed, with the necklace in her hands, she screamed my name into a pillow. Again and again... then..

- - - ... I awoke...

I cried so much when I woke up.. the thought of being without my mother, without my Jay, without my Jenny.. It killed me, I laid in bed crying my eyes out that morning... then the thought of dying and leaving Kat behind, of watching her sadness.. oh it hurt so much... I kept crying..
just kept crying..
so..
to help..
I found a picture,
and if I die,
I will come back
and be like this..

http://www.myfacewhen.com/images/217.jpg
a happy dog, enjoying the sun with blue skies.. nothing but bliss to be a dog..

or if one of you kill me.. o.o

I'll gum ya to death in your sleep.

TT^TT that was so sad....but i would like to be a dog too^^

I couldn't stop crying, the only way to make it slow though, was for me to lay in bed, curled around my pillow, hugging it tightly. I'd cry against it, wishing it were Jayson, or Innjeh, or Rinca, someone, anyone... I needed someone, so badly.. The pain i felt, it was killing me. I knew I'd feel this, this pain, I knew I'd feel it when seperation came. I didn't want to go, I wanted to avoid this, but, there's no way to, is there.. I felt so alone, because I was alone.. and I hated being alone. Hated it.
-All I ever wanted, was someone to love me. Anyone, anyone as long as they were real, a friend, and it was real... I tried so hard, so so hard to make friends.. These ten years I've been here, I tried so hard. I'd been alone so long, so very long. I tried so hard to become close to those I always admired, I tried my hardest not to end up the sad girl again. I wanted to be happy, to laugh and have good memories. All this time, I did my best to be opposite of what I was about to become again. A stranger. A weird, different, stranger. A lonely, stranger. It wasn't until this ninth year, Had I met people that made it all worth it.. two years later.. I had to leave them.. To most people, this whole moving thing.. wouldn't look like much, or a lot, but, to me.. to me its like.. being reborn. Reborn into a new world. Except, you're reborn, alone. With no one to love you, no one to care. To be on your own, an outsider, a cast aside, a reject. It hurts. It hurts so much... I'd grip the pillow tighter as another scream would escape and more tears would flow. Time as Team Idiot, Tripple Baka, is over.
-I remember being five. Mom and dad would leave to go shopping, and would leave my brother and I home. As soon as they left, my brother would sneak out to go see his.. friends.. Leaving me, by myself in this very, big house. I was so jealous, I wanted to come too, but he always told me I was too little, and that I needed to stay home. My brother always had friends, always. So, I'd go upstairs.
-I'd sit infront of the window all day, sad. Watching kids my age play outside, and I'd wonder what that'd feel like. How would it feel to hold hands with someone? To go outside and just, goof off. What would it feel like to laugh, and really feel it bubbling up? I'd close my eyes and pretend it was me out there, me on that scooter, racing. Me running to win a race. It was somewhat comforting, though, not enough. Too young to go out alone, too little to do anything.. I did not remember my mothers number, and I had no friends to call.
-Six hours. Six hours, I'd lay there on the floor, alone, sad, confused. There was no one to talk to, there was nothing to distract me. I had no journal to write in, no dolls to play with, and no one to play video games with, besides my brother always took them with him.. I wanted to be close to my brother, so I would go into his room, curl up in his bed and just pretend like I could hear him, hear him telling me how good he was at his new video games. I'd just listen and laugh praising him, wishing it were true though. Five out of seven days a week, this happened. I'd end up alone, in this big house, with no one.
-So, I'd stare out my window. I never made friends at my oldest home, everyone thought I was weird, that there was something wrong with me. Maybe it was because I weighed so little, or maybe it was because I knew so much about nature.. maybe it was because I liked bugs. Bugs, I loved them.
I'd always just sit there, a beetle in my hand, I'd watch them walk around, not afriad it'd bite me or something, I loved the way they looked, how they walked, flew, ate, it was so neat to me. I always had a bug of some sort when I was outside. When I tried showing others, they were freaked and ran away. I was called the Bug Eater. Why? I dunno.. I never ate them, but.. I guess kids just are mean.
-I lived there for a little while, but when we moved, things got a little better.. there were more kids my age, one of whom was my neighbor, the other was a perverted little boy, and a sweet girl. Samath, Brandy and Kenny. I didn't like Kenny, he was so mean to me, and once, he tried to pull my shirt off me... he was never allowed back into my house after that, my dad had walked into my room with him pinning me, me crying, and him trying to yank my shirt off. Kenny never spoke to me again, and though I was the one attacked, every time I passed by his house, his dad would glare at me, like I was a little whore.. I knew what Kenny was going to do if my dad didn't come in.. I was eight at the time, and Kenny was Twelve.. I avoided him at all costs, and kept my mouth shut whenever someone tried to help. Kenny wasn't the first person who tried to do things you do NOT do to little girls.. there were.. others.. which is why I fear boys..
-I became somewhat close with Samath, who I called Brownie, and Brandy moved away. Then there was Micky, a sweet girl, and JT, another.. boy who I stayed away from, mostly. Micky was nice to me, she was sweet too, but, as soon as I started to be her friend, she started using me... so she and her friends could come swim in my pool.. she never liked me, I heard her myself one day, when I had invited her, bunny, Sath, Cami, and a few others, they were all talking bad about me.. in my own house.. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I was Nine now, and I was pissed. I went upstairs, and it was Micky who was doing the most trash-talking. I grabbed her by her long pony tail, and yanked her freckled ass so hard that her head hit the wall. I've always been abnormally strong, even when I was a little girl.

Mickys head hit the wall so hard, she was stunned at first. "Don't talk like you know me!" I yelled at her, she was trying to get back up, and I saw her get ready to hit me, so i kicked her in the stomach. The other girls had left when I came in the room, so it was just Micky and I.
-"Yeah? I don't know you? You're just a stupid little brat!" Micky yelled at me. She got up, and was crying like a freaking baby. "I never liked you! I only used you for your pool. Just like everyone else, Enka!" she cried, and then ran out. I tripped her on her way. Followed her, and watched her run home. My mother called everyones moms to come get them, and I went to my room to hide under my covers, crying. That was my ninth birthday....
- Things were worse at school.. I liked to draw, and I drew Dragons. constantly. And, I tried to make friends, I would talk to people, and they'd just laugh and blow me off. I was also the smartest in my classes, so they'd always tease me about that. One day, I was walking to the bathroom, when a girl had "accidently" knocked me, I dropped my things and she, her friends and some others, walked all over my papers, my drawings, things I wanted to give my mom. I was a little sad, but ignored it. I picked my things off and decided agaisnt the bathroom for now.
- The next class ended, and I had to go, so I went to the bathroom. Thats when she was there. Josetta. I had admired her, for a little while, but mind you, this is the girl that ruined my life. But, its okay :3 cause this is the past so I'll be sweet^^... Anyways, there was writing on the side of a paper towel dispenser, it sad something mean about her, so I took my pencil and started to erase it. Josseta came out of a stall, saw what I was doing and came over. She read most of it cause I had a bad eraser and looked at me.
- "did you write this?" She asked. I shook my head and told her I was trying to erase it. She didn't belive me.

-Josetta went to the principal and told her what happened. Mrs. Long came and got me, yelled at me, and sent me home. I was upset, and confused. On the ride home, my mom just shook her head. I looked through my soiled papers and found the one where it was me and my mom on a dragons back. It was ruined. I crumpled it up and held it to my chest. "I'm sorry mom.." I said softly.
-Then, there were boys who'd tease me. The better my drawings got, the worse their teasing got. I was used by a few more people, and abused by others. Joey, kept calling me, Dragon Slayer and I liked it, though he meant it to be an insult. My grades were dropping, because these kids were like sharks.. they were always attacking the weakest one, all at once.

- One day, when I was walking to get picked up, an eight grader, (I was a sixth) came up behind me, grabbed me by the hair, and yanked me back. He thought I was an easy target. I knew all to well the things boys did to girls. Willing or not. Knew them too painfully. So, when he grabbed hold of me, I let him drag me back. Waited till it loosened, then I spun around, clawed his face, bit his shoulder, and kneed him so hard in the crotch it hurt my knee. I heard him gasp and shudder from pain as I kicked him again, grabbed my things and ran. Boys disgust me.. they scare me... I don't like them.. I went home that night, and held myself, not crying but wishing I could while I sat in the shower. Horrible.. horrible people.
-I avoided everyone till my ninth grade year. Where I met Rinca and Innjeh, and.. well you know the story from then on.. but yeah.. I don't like being alone.

-but, thats how life is.
Fuck my life :3

*tucks my hand in my hair* eh heh ^^''

Enka dearly misses her friends, and she wishes nothing more than to be with them once again.
- I've said a lot about Rinca and Innjeh, right? Also about Jayson too, but... now... I need to talk about Shelly and Selena.
- Shelly... Shellys a little darling friend of mine. In the midst of all thats been happening, I haven't been able to see her, nor really talk about her. I met this girl on the bus one day to school. She's new here, and just moved in. She's really funny and sweet, likes the same things I do, and is kind at heart. She's a great writer and I know would make an awsome girlfriend, if she could stop picking the asses who don't know what their missing.. *sighs* I dont know if she knows exactly what it is about her that brings me forth but, I feel so bad. I wanted to make excellent friends with her, but I've been a little neglectfull and I feel horrid. I want to make what was wrong, right. I miss her, horribley. Hauu.. v.v... Shell, I will make this up, okay? < . . > Mear..

- Then, theres Selena Wolf Leopard. *sighs softly again* I miss her too, she made me feel safe, when I was in her arms, I am.. her pet you could say. I mean, she makes me happy and holds me, and I amuse and make her happy. She's got a boyfriend, er mate.. and I'm really happy for her too, I wish I could've seen her more often.. I tried so hard to go see her but my dad always said no each time.. so... yeah. I'll do my best to please everyone.

But you all need to understand. There is only one Enka. and I can only do so much, okay? I wish to be with you all, to hold you ask close as I can. I want to cry my eyes out with you, and see how happy we can be!

" As soft winds sweep away the days
I look back on life through a haze.
Remember playgrounds, parks and friends,
In childlike gaze that never ends.
The laughter in a game of catch,
Shall memory ever attach...
To innocence in youthful eyes,
Catching the ball to Dad's surprise.

I recall my first bike, first wreck,
Who picked me up, said, "What the heck?"
Convinced me to give one more try,
While, knees skinned, I forgot to cry.
Just the joy knowing he was there,
Making him proud my only care.
There was nothing I couldn't do,
My heart held fast that to be true.

Though teenage years were kind of rough,
I sure wasn't too big or tough.
You taught me to defend what's right
And never back down from a fight.
So I learned the hard way to stand,
Still, with each lump, I found your hand.
Drawing from you an inner strength,
And stubborn pride of equal length.

But there the line of fate was drawn,
As though I blinked and you were gone.
I found myself facing the sun,
Not man, not boy, fatherless, one.
Eyes blinded by a void inside,
I could not live that you had died.
Alas finding it to be true,
I could do nothing without you.

Please, Dad, today just hear my call,
I'm sorry that I dropped the ball.
My life is wrecked, my knees are skinned,
My emotions undisciplined.
I can't get up although I try,
Please don't be upset if I cry.
Though I can't fight what I can't see,
Please, Dad, say you're still proud of me. "

As the summer days had slowly passed
I spent them best as I could
With the ones who could make me laugh
The way three best friends always should..

A girl mistaken with no other,
A maiden shorest of the three,
The one who'd make the best mother,
Made up the Trio of glee..

We used to run through the grass
Happiness that couldn't end
But all good things must come to pass
And it was that message that would never send

I wanted to believe we'd be okay
That nothing could break this apart
That through thick and thin, together we'd stay,
Never did I think, this vow would break my heart..

-hugs Luna- i love you Luna and i will always be here for you^^ no matter what!~

You read all that...? *blushes whimpering*

of course i read it all :3 why wouldn't i?^^

Just seemed fast o.o'' and well.. ehe hehehehe nothing.

well i do check the site everyday or at least i try to~ X3

Heheh^^ nyah

^^ *makes a peace sign*X3

Ima kill you o.o

Todays main issue.

Alone TT~TT

Can't call Rinca, can't text NJ, Jaysons busy (as usual..) Selenas busy i think, Zuris busy, and... Jaysons busy x.x man I'm sad.
I think my new favorite person on this site is Kazu

(you too Momo)

Post war against Kazu and Aya:

I WILL WIN ?

Lunar Wolf wrote:Ima kill you o.o

w-what?

S-sorry^///^'' you know me, i'm a bit of a murderer, I hasn't attacked anyone so.. yeah..

I'm a little bit let down today,

Dream.

- I was in the gym of my old highschool, with Rinca and Innjeh. It was about sevenpm. The lights had gone out, and so we decided we needed to leave. The whole place had a creepy atmosphere, and as we were walking, I bumped into a girl. It knocked her so I quickly grabbed her arm to pull her back from almost hitting someone else. When she turned to me I was about to say that I was sorry when..
- It was her. It was Josetta.. My heart froze, and pounded. She just looked right through me and I fled. I ran as hard as I could away from her, because if I didnt... I was going to cry while knocking the crap out of her.. So, I kept running.. Across the gym and through the doors that lead into the school. I skidded to a hault, turned left and darted past the band room. Outside was my motorcycle. I popped the keys out of my pocket, clicked the ignition and sped off.
- I felt bad for having left Innjeh and Rinca, but I knew they'd be okay. We had planned to just go roaming anyways.
- I was gone for about an hour, by the time I came back. Innjeh and Rinca wer there, waiting for me. I scooted forward on my bike, and Rinca climbed on. Innjeh then slid on behind Rinca.
Just so you know, this is what it looked like.

http://images.psxextreme.com/wallpapers/ps3/motorcycle___ninja_1358.jpg

I cranked my gas and we peeled away from the school and started riding away. We were on for about an hour, when we had found what we were looking for. A stretch of grass that went on for miles. We started driving down it, the wind whipping through our hair, I felt Rinca hold me tightly and Innjehs hands against my back. We kept going until we reached several small abandoned houses. Each had a small sign on it.
"This is Abandoned. Take as you please but not the sign!
..thank you" thats all it said, in a neat decorative frame. As we got off, Innjeh and Rinca decided the small sheds they wanted to look into, and I found one myself. My tail was swaying as I walked into the building. It was like a shed, small. On the back of the door, was a blue ribbon, with a big golden bell. I remembered Rinca talking about her bells, and thought to myself that maybe she'd like a new one. I took the bell and ribon but instantly felt like something was wrong. I wanted it really bad, but the eerie feeling I got, told me not to.
- its a trap. I thought. I put the ribbon and bell back and looked around the place. Why was there so much abandoned stuff..? Photographs, scrap books, childhood toys.. this place was crawling with dead emotions.. no one cared... It made me sad. I left the building and stood by my motorcycle, stroking its blue finish. Shortly after, Innjeh and Rinca came up. They had nothing, thank god. We hopped back on and rode home. It was dark by the time we got back, and as I opened the door, my house felt odd. Wrong. It was haunted. I had just shut the door when Rinca screamed. There was a dead man on my table. I freaked and then blacked out. I'm dead.

oh wow o.o

WHY DID YOU LOG OFF WHEN I WAS STILL ON D:<

hey i didn't!! and I HAD TO GO TO SOCCER PRACTICE!!!!DX<<<<